Not bad.
I know you said all that needed was the main melody, but I personally feel the part you left out helps transition the song a little. Instead it feels like you're dragging the same idea over and over and over again.
However, beautiful work of using the volume and intensity to your advantage. This song is best preformed quiet, then intense, then quiet, and you seem to have that down. Sent a chill down my spine.
Just because the part I like isn't in it doesn't mean I'll give you a bad score. Good job on this one, I look forward to hearing some more of your stuff. 4/5 7/10